combing the pawn shops by PRESIDENT WISHNACK

posted on April 25th, 2006 in news

have you ever seen ravens swarm around the dead body of a wildebeast?

probably not; it only happens in africa.

but you’ve probably heard ravens swarm around the dead body of a wildebeast because that’s the sound jurassic park’s t-rex roar was engineered from.

i’ve strayed from the topic.

tuesdays, i am the wildebeast. i have ten and a half hours of class and two hours of rehearsal. each morning i take a quick shower, down a bowl of cereal, grab my backpack, pound a red bull and smoke a cigarette while waiting for the bus.

today was different. slightly. i had a rockstar.

and i left my house with a blue notepad complete with a list of local pawn shops and a quick note that my friend is afraid of needles.

around noon, i took a trip to three nearby pawn shops. all three of them specialized in jewelry and being an asshole, so i decided to continue my investigatory work by phone.

after a series of pawn shop cashiers hung up on me, i came across chait roberts r (932 mission st). i believe i was talking to the actual chait roberts r, too. and he was very nice.

he suggested i scan craigslist for any suspicious sales, adding that a criminal would mostly likely not come to a pawn shop to get rid of electronic booty.

i can just imagine a cracked out thief using chris’ digital camera to take snap shots of chris’ equipment and loading them up on craigslist with chris’ laptop.

mr. robert r also directed me to citysearch.com, which provides users with a complete list of sf pawn shops. if we emailed each one of them a list of exactly what was stolen they could keep an eye out, or search their inventory.

a pawn shop named pawn shop (1167 sutter st) was my next call.

this cashier informed me his, and every, shop was intensely monitored by the sfpd. that the san francisco cops are “top of the line. like no other.”

i laughed. pretty loudly. and for a long time.

what i know of [san jose] crimefighters is that they take you to jail for littering and missing a court date. or accuse you of robbing saratoga houses. or hijacking satellites. and computers.

but then he explained the sfpd’s “fencing department”, which specializes in returning stolen goods. they work directly with pawn shops and are much different than the sjpd, which i am, unwillingly, very familiar with.

anyhow, he said if we’d filed a police report with the model and serial numbers of the stolen goods, it would be very likely we’d get it back.

that’s potentially sexy news.

i’m off to be picked at by one more flock of hungry ravens.

thank you all for helping us out.